More on Motherhood and the Movement

Yesterday I wolfed down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a rabid raccoon.  I was wanting to get back to my alone time as quickly as possible.  Mind you, I was alone (and thank goodness or someone would’ve seen me down that sandwich in 2 point 2 seconds).  But you see, when my daughter is away and the house is quiet, I like to do the nourishing things I can’t do when she’s around, and for me, that means meditating and writing, not eating.  Cause I can eat when she’s home.

That’s my thinking.  But there’s a small flaw, as usual.   I stood there gorging without even noticing the taste of peanut butter mixed with the new raspberry jam on honey wheat.  I saw myself as if I were watching a movie.  “Look at what I’m doing!” I thought.  I’m missing the whole point again.  I even co-wrote a book about slowing down, and yet sometimes Life hands you a big ole PB& J to remind you.

I have this old habit of thinking things have to look a certain way.  And I have to remind myself that in every circumstance, I can find the unexpected.  Two years ago, I resented the PB& J’s.  I felt I’d been pummeled by PB& J’s.  The mundane drove me insane but more than that, I’d lost my connection to my Self.  And there I was- hadn’t I chosen to stay-at-home?  Hadn’t I chosen PB& J’s over returning to teaching in the classroom?  Oh yes, I’d actively participated in every decision, so where was I?

I re-membered my Self, like Humpty Dumpty put himself back together again.  I don’t know how he did it, but I choose to slow down, to create a space where I could tend to my Self.  And here I am.  If you’ve read my blogs, you know that this nurturing of Self led to a re-centering and a re-connection to my home, to the world- to seeing the whole world as my home.  I wrote recently about the Women’s Movement and how our work now is in finding our real and authentic way to be in the world.  Where before I thought I needed to be “out there” doing something, I see that being “in here” is doing something. A new Movement is happening in our own homes, in our conversations, in our present-ness to ourselves and to our children.  We are shifting the world in a real way- right there with peanut butter and jellies in our hands.

I just have to remember that.

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2 Comments on “More on Motherhood and the Movement

    • Thanks for your comment! It’s always re-assuring to know we are not alone…We know this and yet…

      I was just reminded again yesterday that being “out there” looks different for me.

      Thanks so much for letting me know we’re resonating together!! 🙂

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