Stay-at-home moms – Carrie Lee Ferguson

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August 4, 2020

Transforming Homemaking

“My life feels so small,” I said. “Calling your life small is the trick of the ego. Anything that takes you out of the present moment is a trick of the ego,” came the reply. It was during a weekly appointment with Bobbie Jo, a life transitions coach, and I sat there, uncomfortable. I didn’t think it was my ego urging me toward more. I knew there was a wildness, deep and infinite and good, inside of me wanting to have a place in the world. How could I possibly reconcile my wildness and my domesticity? I was dying to know. My homemaki[...]

Homemaking

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July 14, 2020

Is something the matter, mom? time to create your own version of “good Mom”

I am walking on fifth street, the road that intersects the street where I live. Down a block, back a block. Elle is one year old and she is in the Ergo pack, attached to my chest. Each step I take is a bounce. I am trying desperately to lull her to sleep. I have not slept in a couple of nights, since the ear infection began. I am bone tired but I am singing. I am enslaved to this tiny master, I will do anything for her. This is so f***ing hard, but I will admit it to no one. I won’t say, This is so f***ing hard. I’ll say, “Elle has an ear[...]

Homemaking

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February 18, 2020

in the home, in the world

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Back in 2006 when I was pregnant, I resigned from my teaching job, lucky that I had the choice. I didn’t know, really, what I was choosing. I didn’t know that my baby wouldn’t sleep anywhere other than in my arms or attached to my side. I knew that I’d be breastfeeding, but I didn’t know that it’d feel like that was all I’d be doing. I had never discerned the extremities of love and loneliness—not like this. Not until I sat, trapped, on my couch, holding the whole world in my arms. I loved[...]